Tomorrow (June 19) is my ultrasound with my doctor to see our little baby. I will be exactly 19 weeks and 2 days along in my pregnancy. And I have to say my anxiety is through the roof! I've talked to Tim about it a number of times, but could never quite figure out why I was feeling so anxious. But as the ultrasound gets nearer and nearer I'm pretty sure this is what the majority of it has been about.
On July 5, 2005 at exactly 19 weeks and 6 days we found out that our little Quentin's heartbeat was no longer beating. In my heart, I know things will be okay this time around. But I still can't help but worry. What if her heart has stopped? What if she isn't growing properly? What if something is wrong? So many what ifs! I don't know if I can handle another loss. I'm just not strong enough.
I know not many people read this blog anymore, but I needed to get my feelings out there. And Facebook is just a little too public. If you do read this, please say a little prayer for me tonight. And for this little girl growing inside of me.
2 comments:
You will be in my prayers tonight. Not just for good health for little Tori, but also for peace of mind for mom. Just keep breathing (that's sometimes hard when anxiety strikes) and within the first few moments you'll know everything is fine. From there on out it can just be amazing! Enjoy it! I love you!
I still read your blog. Although, I didn't read this until after the successful ultrasound :)
I am so happy for you. I don't think I've conveyed that to you yet!
I need come see you sometime.
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