5 Months

My beautiful Victoria is 5 months old. I can't believe how fast the time has gone by. She is definitely developing her own little spitfire personality. She is also our most high maintenance baby by far. She wants it her way and will let you know just what that way is.

She rolled from her belly to her back a few months ago, but she has yet to roll the other way. She is starting to reach for things and is very smiley.

She is also very fussy. She doesn't like to be put down for long and has no problem letting you know it. Holden and Beckett adore her and are always trying to make her smile and laugh. I'm thankful every day that she joined our family. Love our little Tori Bug.

I Met Him!

For years (almost 17) I have been hoping and praying for the day that Timothy would decide he was ready to see me in person. I had decided that it probably wasn't going to happen until he was older; maybe not until after his mission.

So on Saturday, March 15, I was very surprised to get an email and a text from Lena (Timothy's mom) letting me know that he was singing at Temple Square that night and specifically asked her to invite me. How could I possibly say no? So I jumped in the shower, agonized over what to wear and finally headed to Temple Square.

Almost as soon as I got there I saw Lena. We hugged and almost cried (yay me!) and talked for a moment. Then we headed in to the Assembly Hall where Timothy was practicing with his choir. He texted her right away letting her know he saw her. Or us. Which in and of itself was huge. He saw me!!

His practice ran long so his mom and I just sat and watched and talked. I saw Timothy look at me a few times and see that I was looking at him. I could see Jon in his movements. And honestly I was really surprised that that was something I would notice. He sent Lena a text and told her he was nervous, that he didn't know what to say. So I told her I felt the same. What do you say to the almost 17 year old boy young man that has been a huge part of your life, has shaped you into the person you are, and who your heart ached for? How do I say I love you; You are amazing; I'm so proud of who you have become; Of who you are still becoming? How can I express these feelings and more to someone who doesn't know me? It's an odd feeling to have. How can I love someone so much that I haven't seen for so long?

After sitting with Lena for just under two hours rehearsal was over. And this is when my nerves kicked in to high gear. Would Timothy change his mind? Would he decide he didn't want to meet me after all? As my stomach did flip flops he walked down the stairs. As he got closer I noticed his height. Everyone always comments on how tall he is when they see his pictures. I notice it as well. But it didn't hit me just HOW tall he was until he was standing next to me. (For the record, he is 6'5". A full 10 inches taller than me.) I could tell he was nervous also. He smiled and shook my hand. Mine was shaking and I hope he didn't notice.

His amazing mom, Lena, asked Timothy's friend to take a picture of all three of us together. After that Lena took a pic of just me and Timothy. I can still feel where his hand rested on my back (which sound stalkerish, but really isn't.) And that was it. He then went to eat dinner before his performance. It was very fast and filled with a ton of emotion. I loved it all. Every single second. I really hope it will happen again soon. I would absolutely love to be more involved in his life. And for my kids to meet him. Holden is especially interested. Because they have grown up knowing who he is.

I can't even begin to describe how full my heart was during this short meeting. And still is now. Lena said it beautifully "So thrilled that we were both able to hold him together for the first time! Our hearts were on both sides of his heart-symbolic of the deep bond we both share with an amazing son! So thrilled that Tim gave us this miracle today!"

I'm so thankful that Lena is his mom. Not only for him, but for me. She helped to calm my nerves. And to remind me of the strong bond we have with each other. I love her so much. I could not have picked a better mother for my baby. She is everything I wanted for him. Everything I feared I couldn't be at 17.

I have said it before, but it bears repeating. I have no doubts that Lena and I knew each other before this life. That we talked with each other in the pre-existence about the different challenges we would go through on this Earth and how we would find each other again. I also know without a doubt that she and Robert were destined to be Timothy's parents. I was just the vessel to bring him into the world.

You can read a bit more about me giving Timothy up HERE.

Tori Bug: Zero to Three Months!

Oh how time flies! I can't believe this little beauty has been in our family for 3 months already! She has made our family complete. And while she takes a lot of time and energy I can't imagine changing her. Her little personality is already starting to show. So thankful my little Tori Bug is part of the Brunson family!

The photo above is at 10 days. So tiny!

1 month. Still pretty tiny.

Two months. She is getting bigger. Starting to get some chub on those cheeks. This is the exact same onesie she was wearing in her one month pic.

And three months. She is turning into our chunk chunk. I freaking love it!

She still likes to be held. A lot. But it's improving. We can often put her down to play or swing in her baby swing for 15-20 minutes at a time now. And she is not crying when Daddy holds her all the time anymore. Which means everyone is happier.

New Year Questions 2014

I decided to start asking my kids some questions every year. I think it will be fun to see how their answers to change from year to year. So here are the answers for 2014.

Beckett:
Favorites:

• cereal- Mini Wheats
• vegetable- carrots and celery
• drink- Sprite
• toy- My pistol I got for Christmas from Holden
• TV Show- Phineas and Ferb
• game- Skylander's Swap Force
• book- Fly Guy
• restaurant- Famous Dave's
• holiday- Christmas
• animal- Tiger

If you could change your name, what would you choose? Manning (big surprise)
What do you love about each person in our family? Mom- You getting me cereal. Dad- Making lunch. Holden- That he plays with me. Tori- That she doesn't cry.
Where would you like to go on vacation this year? California
What are some of your wishes for this year? Peyton Manning come to our house.

Holden:

Favorites:

• cereal- Frosted Flakes
• vegetable- I don't like any
• drink- Sprite
• toy- iPad
• TV Show- Power Rangers Jungle Fury (sigh. I HATE this show)
• game- Life
• book- A to Z mysteries
• restaurant- Rodizio
• holiday- Christmas
• animal- Bronco

If you could change your name, what would you choose? Bolden
What do you love about each person in our family? Mom- She's nicer than dad. Dad- He takes me hunting. Beckett- He plays with me. Tori- She silent most of the time.
Where would you like to go on vacation this year? Colorado (can you guess why?)
What are some of your wishes for this year? Go to a Broncos game

Victoria

Some cute pics of my beautiful daughter.

She is still very little. We don't have an official weight, but from me stepping on the scale (ugh) and then stopping on again while holding her we guess she weighs about 7 1/2 pounds. 

She is also a big pain in the butt. I love her to pieces, but she isn't happy unless she is being held. It makes it really hard to get anything done. So I hold her most of the day and Tim tries to help out at night. The boys also like to hold her, but she doesn't like that as well. And she rarely lasts more than 5 minutes in the swing or bouncer.

 Love love love these cute ones with the tutu. The pink with the teal background looks awesome!

 I am so in love with her outie belly button. It's just freaking cute!!

Ack! I can't believe my baby girl is already more than a month old. She has already changed our lives and completed our family. I can't imagine not having her.

Victoria's Birth Story

Since this was my 5th pregnancy and Beckett came really fast I was a bit worried about how quickly Victoria would make her arrival. I was terrified of delivering her in the car or at home with no help. So Tim was on standby. For multiple days. I have a few pieces of paper with the timing of my contractions written down since I was having quite a few and never knew if it was real or not. I even called my doctor one of those days and he told me to head to the hospital. I did. And Tim and I sat around being bored for a couple of hours while I didn't progress at all in an evaluation room. Oh the joys.

I was seriously tired of timing contractions. I vowed I wouldn't time them again at all. That I would just wait until they really hurt. But on October 28 that went out the window. It seemed like they were coming fairly regularly so I started timing them around 3:00. I texted Tim and let him know that I was timing. Again. But I still wasn't sure. So he didn't rush home. Around 7:00pm they seemed to be about 6-8 minutes apart. So I called Becky to come grab the boys and Tim and I headed to the hospital. We got there around 8:30pm. Tim and Becky both thought this was it, but I still wasn't sure.

When we told the nursing staff that my contractions were 6-8 minutes apart they didn't bother with an evaluation room. We headed right to labor and delivery. (I must say this freaked me out a little.) They hooked me up to the monitors, had me rate my pain (it was very low), and we waited. I decided to give natural birth a try so I was walking around and trying to get things moving. At 10:30 I was checked and I was only at a 5. This was very disheartening. I felt like I had been laboring for a very long time already. My longest labor before now was 7 hours. And Beckett was a total of 4 1/2, with less than an hour of that being at the hospital.

At about midnight the midwife came in and broke my water since I still wasn't progressing a ton. And it took about 5 minutes for me to realize there was absolutely no way I was going to be able to go natural. So I promptly requested an epidural. Yay for modern medicine! At this point things got super boring. I wasn't feeling pain and since it was the middle of the night there wasn't a whole lot on TV. You can see the pic below of how Tim spent most of this time.

And I was even able to sneak in about 45 minutes of a nap. Thank goodness for my amazing sister Becky who stayed up way too late texting me. She helped with my sanity.

I was checked again at 4:00am and I was dilated to a 7 and 90% effaced. I was less than thrilled. But at least I was making some decent progress at this point. At 5:05am I was dilated to a 9+ and almost completely effaced. And at 6:05am I started pushing. My cute little baby girl finally made her arrival at 6:23am 13 days before her due date of November 11. So in total about 16 hours. Which is more than both Holden and Beckett combined.

She had a super short and fat umbilical cord. So they weren't able to put her up on my chest at first. She could only reach my stomach since it was so short. She also didn't cry at first. They took her over to the warmer to check her out and I couldn't hear anything. I was really scared for a minute or two. But they were able to get her lungs going and assured me that she was doing great.

She weighed 6 pounds 8 ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long. She scored an 8 and then a 9 on Apgar. And she was (and still is) perfection. She totally completes our family. And we all love her to pieces.

Halloween

This for Halloween Holden decided to dress up as Indiana Jones and Beckett was Iron Man. They both looked stinkin' adorable. Tim took them out trick or treating while I stayed home with the baby. They both got way too much candy and had a ton of fun. Overall, it was a very low key holiday and I loved it.

 

We had a lot more trick or treaters this year than in years past, but still not a ton. The boys loved answering the door to hand out candy before and after they went out to get their own. And I loved not having to get up every two seconds. 

 

Since I was very pregnant during the month of October I didn't have a ton of energy. Which means I had zero desire to carve pumpkins. Thankfully we were able to talk the boys into just using Mr. Potato head type decorations. Although this was after Holden spent all of two seconds cleaning his pumpkin out. He was dead set on carving it. Until he realized how much work it would be to clean it out. He HATES getting his hands dirty, so it didn't take long for him to realize it just wasn't worth it. And I love how they turned out. Especially because it was insanely easy to do. Pretty sure this is the new norm for my family.