All about Victoria: Age FOUR!

And just like that, in the blink of an eye, my baby girl is four! She is such a bossy, stubborn, sassy, loving, snuggly, laughing, silly, center of attention (but only when she wants to) ray of sunshine. She made our family complete and I can't imagine my life without her. She is my girly spitfire and can melt my heart in seconds. Happy fourth birthday little Bug a Boo!

1. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A- A fashionista!

2. What makes you happy?
A- Being a princess.

3. What makes you sad?
A- Throwing up.

4. What makes you laugh?
A- Making jokes

5. What is your favorite color?
A- Pink! (Big surprise there. Half the time it's pink and half the time it's glitter.)

6. What is your favorite toy?
A- Dolls

7. How tall are you?
A-Five and a hundred.

8. How much do you weigh?
A-two, three.

9. What’s your favorite thing to do?
A- Play with a friend

10. Where is your favorite place to go?
A- To Walmart (Really!?)

11. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
A- To Utah

12. What are you really good at?
A- Drawing pictures

13. What are you not so good at?
A- Doing homework.

14. What is your favorite food?
A- Lasagna (this is what she requested for her birthday dinner)

15. What food don't you like?
A- Spicy meat

16. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be and why?
A- Mal from Descendants 2 because she is my favorite character.

17. What‘s your favorite TV show?
A- My Little Pony

18. What is your favorite movie?
A- Frozen (she only said this because dad suggested it)

19. What is your favorite book?
A- Palace Pets

20. Who are your friends?
A- Malia from dance class, Kennedy from Holden's football game, Victoria in my class (and I'm friend with her now), Lexi, Ellie, that's it.

21. Who is your best friend?
A- Kennedy (she has played with her one time ever.) Tim says its me.

22. What do you like most about your dad?
A- Going in his truck.

23. What do you like most about your mom?
A- Going to the store with her.

24. What do you like most about Beckett?
A- Playing with him. Like doctor.

25. What do you like most about Holden?
A- Giving him hugs.

26. What do you like most about yourself?
A- Playing with dolls.

It's Great to be EIGHT!

When did this little guy decide he could grow up? Because I don't remember giving permission.

Beckett. You are my caring, funny, stubborn, smart, mischievous, no fear, snuggly boy. You love to build things, to see how things work, and you excel at getting into things you shouldn't.

You are my tender heart, which leads to lots of temper tantrums, but you are also quick to forgive. I love you to pieces and can't wait to see all that you will accomplish in your lifetime. Happy birthday, my Beckett!

1. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A-  A paleontologist

2. What makes you happy?
A- Candy

3. What makes you sad?
A- Not having candy (seriously!?)

4. What makes you laugh?
A- My brother

5. What is your favorite color?
A- Blue

6. What is your favorite toy?
A- Pokemon Cards

7. How tall are you?
A- 47 inches

8. How much do you weigh?
A- 61 pounds

9. What’s your favorite thing to do?
A- Eat candy

10. Where is your favorite place to go?
A- Coldstone (finally! An answer I can get behind)

11. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
A-The UK

12. What are you really good at?
A-Curling my tongue with my eyes crossed.

13. What are you not so good at?
A-Whistling

14. What is your favorite thing about school?
A- Recess

15. What is your favorite food?
A-Scones

16. What food don't you like?
A-Chicken enchiladas

17. Are you a morning person or a night person?
A- Night

18. What makes you proud of yourself?
A- How fast I am

19. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be & why?
A- Zekrom, because he's really cool.

20. What‘s your favorite TV show?
A- Dan TDM (UGH!)

21. What is your favorite movie?
A-Pete's Dragon

22. What is your favorite book?
A-DragonBreath

23. Who are your friends?
A- Lucas, Alex, Sammy, Henry, Isabella, Harrison, Ella, Sofia

24. Who is your best friend?
A- Lucas

25. What do you like most about your dad?
A-He's funny

26. What do you like most about your mom?
A- She's nice

27. What do you like most about Holden?
A- He's kind of funny.

28. What do you like most about Victoria?
A- She's cute

28. What do you like most about yourself?
A- I'm fun

All About Toria: Age Three!

I can't believe my baby girl is three! Where did the time go? She is such a bossy, stubborn, sassy, temper tantrum throwing, loving, snuggly, laughing, ray of sunshine. She made our family complete and I can't imagine my life without her. She is my girly spitfire and can melt my heart in seconds. Happy third birthday to our Booty Booty!

1. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A- A princess!

2. What makes you happy?
A- The night I was smiling because today is my birthday.

3. What makes you sad?
A- When Holden was stepping on my dress like this.

4. What makes you laugh?
A- Barbie's naked (she laughs hysterically)

5. What is your favorite color?
A- Pink! (Big surprise there. Half the time it's pink and half the time it's glitter.)

6. What is your favorite toy?
A- Ponies

7. How tall are you?
A- One

8. How much do you weigh?
A- 21

9. What’s your favorite thing to do?
A- To play

10. Where is your favorite place to go?
A- High School (ummm. okay?)

11. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
A- Carl's Jr.

12. What are you really good at?
A- A Boo Yah Kick (she then demonstrated)


13. What are you not so good at?
A- I don't know. Not good at jumping


14. What is your favorite food?
A- Pancakes, Eggs, Waffles

15. What food don't you like?
A- Whipped Cream


16. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be and why?
A- Bing Bong! Because he spins a lot.

17. What‘s your favorite TV show?
A- My Little Pony

18. What is your favorite movie?
A- Pitch Perfect

19. What is your favorite book?
A- The Snoopy one

20. Who are your friends?
A- Sofia, Charity, Beckett, Holden, Dad, Grandma, Ella, Becky, Lexi, Ellie, and what about Justin?

21. Who is your best friend?
A- Ellie and Lexi

22. What do you like most about your dad?
A-To play with me and to play with you when you were a kid, mommy.

23. What do you like most about your mom?
A- You fix my stroller.

24. What do you like most about Beckett?
A- He likes to play with me. I like him to dress up me.

25. What do you like most about Holden?
A- Him to play with me before a walk.

26. What do you like most about yourself?
A- I like me to throw my body in my hamper.

All About 9 Year Old Holden!

I'm going to say the same thing I say every year. I can't believe my baby is nine! Where did the time go? He is such an amazing, smart, caring, inquisitive, athletic, know it all, leader. I can't imagine my life without this little jokester. He can turn any day into something positive and he knows something about everything. He is my dependable smarty pants. Happy ninth birthday Hono!!

1. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A- A football player or electrical engineer

2. What makes you happy?
A- Playing football

3. What makes you sad?
A- Getting grounded

4. What makes you laugh?
A- Cameron's comedy

5. What is your favorite color?
A- Orange (surprise, surprise)

6. What is your favorite toy?
A- My X-Shot Bug Attack gun

7. How tall are you?
A- 4 foot 6

8. How much do you weigh?
A- 60 pounds

9. What’s your favorite thing to do?
A- Play football

10. Where is your favorite place to go?
A- The Utes Stadium

11. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
A- Denver

12. What are you really good at?
A- Football (Again)

13. What are you not so good at?
A- Shopping (I literally laughed out loud)

14. What is your favorite thing about school?
A- Recess

15. What is your favorite food?
A- Elk Jerky

16. What food don't you like?
A- Tomatoes

17. Are you a morning person or a night person?
A- Morning

18. What makes you proud of yourself?
A- Winning a football game

19. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be and why?
A- I would be Bart Simpson because he's good at skateboarding and hilarious (yes, I'm a horrible mom)

20. What‘s your favorite TV show?
A- Football

21. What is your favorite movie?
A- Avengers

22. What is your favorite book?
A- Fablehaven and the Shadow Plague

23. Who are your friends?
A- Cameron, Huck, Max, Zack, Sofia, Hyrum, & Josyah

24. Who is your best friend?
A- Cameron

25. What do you like most about your dad?
A-He's funny

26. What do you like most about your mom?
A- She lets me have candy sometimes

27. What do you like most about Beckett?
A- That he joins in Minecraft

28. What do you like most about Victoria?
A- That she's funny

28. What do you like most about yourself?
A- That I'm strong.

14 Years!!!

I love you, Not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.

I love you, Not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.

I love you for the part of me that you bring out;

I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart and passing over all the foolish, weak things that you can't help dimly seeing there, and for drawing out into the light all the beautiful belongings that no one else has looked quite far enough to find.
 

I love you because you are helping me to make of the lumber of my life, not a tavern, but a temple; out of the works of my every day, not a reproach, but a song.

I can't believe it has been 14 years already! It feels like it was only yesterday. I cannot imagine my life without you in it. Thank you for being the man you are. I love you!

All about Tim from an 8 and 6 year old!

In honor of Father's Day we asked Holden & Beckett to tell us all about Tim. So here it is 8 and 6 year old style! I tried to get Tori in on the action, but she just kept saying no.

1. What is something dad always says to you?
Holden- Listen!
Beckett- He sighs at me.

2. What makes dad happy?
Holden- Me listening
Beckett- Going to Bohemian

3. What makes dad sad?
Holden- Me not listening
Beckett- I don't know. I haven't seen dad getting sad.

4. How does your dad make you laugh?
Holden- Saying something funny
Beckett- Tickling me

5. What was your dad like as a child?
Holden- Adventurous, brave, and athletic
Beckett- A nice kid

6. How old is your dad?
Holden- 33
Beckett- 32?

7. How tall is your dad?
Holden- 5 foot 8
Beckett- 50 feet

8. What is his favorite thing to do?
Holden- Get a break from work
Beckett- Go to the Bohemian

9. What does your dad do when you are not home?
Holden- Basically work
Beckett- He's pretty much never home

10. If your dad becomes famous, what will it be for?
Holden- Actor
Beckett- Being a movie star maybe?

11. What is your dad really good at?
Holden- Engineering
Beckett- Helping other companies

12. What is your dad not good at?
Holden- Doing multiple things at a time for work while having a ruckus in the room.
Beckett- Building stuff

13. What does your dad do for a job?
Holden- He works for Teleira Communications
Beckett- Help other companies

14. What is your dad's favorite food?
Holden- Elk steak
Beckett- Lasagne maybe. I don't know.

15. What makes you proud of your dad?
Holden- That he helps me almost every day to understand multiple questions that I ask at random.
Beckett- That sometimes he's nice to me.

16. If your dad were a cartoon character, who would he be?
Holden- The hunter guy from Looney Tunes
Beckett- Batman

17. What do you and your dad do together?
Holden- Play pass with the football, talk about WWII and engineering and science and stuff.
Beckett- I don't know.

18. How are you and your dad the same?
Holden- Both of our last names are Brunson
Beckett- That we both have muscles

19. How are you and your dad different?
Holden- He's 33 and I'm 8
Beckett- That I have dark hair and he has blonde hair.

20. How do you know your dad loves you?
Holden- He helps me with tons of things
Beckett- 'Cause he's nice sometimes.

21. What does your dad like most about your mom?
Holden- That he can go to work while you stay home and take care of us; not the other way around.
Beckett- That he loves you.

22. Where is your dad's favorite place to go?
Holden- I don't know. Home.
Beckett- Bohemian.

This Time

My heart hurts. For the first time in close to 18 years I am confronted with the fact that I'm NOT his mom. He has had a major milestone in his life. And I found out on Facebook just like the rest of the world. Which is exactly how it should be. I'm super happy for him. And proud. And excited. And yet I am ridiculously, irrationally sad for myself.

He is an amazing kid young man. He is smart and talented and kind and funny. He is driven and dedicated and loyal. But he didn't learn those things from me. Because while he came from my body, he is not my son.

Maybe if I keep repeating it it won't hurt so much?

For the first time since he was a baby and I could still "see" his beautiful face I feel left out. I didn't expect anything different. I knew what I was giving up. I knew I would miss out on so much more than one major milestone. But this time. This time feels different. This time my arms ache to hold him. This time my tears are falling. Yes, I'm happy. I'm so glad he is the man he is. I'm so grateful that he has the mom he does. I could not have possibly dreamed up anyone better than her. She is certainly the mom he needed and the mom I needed for him. But that mom isn't me.

I'm not there. He isn't mine. Not new information. I know. I do. But I can't help the way I feel. And this time my heart hurts.

All About Beckett: Age SIX!!!

When did this little guy decide he could grow up? Because I don't remember giving permission. My little Beckett is so amazing. He is my caring, funny, crazy, smart, mischievous, no fear, tender heart of a boy. He can read on a 4th grade level and really works hard to make sure everyone is happy. If you are sick or hurt Beckett will help you in any way he possibly can.

He feels things very deeply which leads to lots of temper tantrums, but he is also quick to forgive and the first to say sorry when he has done something wrong. He idolizes his big brother and adores his little sister. I can not possibly imagine our family without this little stink in it. I love him to pieces and can't wait to see all that he will accomplish in his lifetime.

1. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A-  LEGO creator

2. What makes you happy?
A- Playing with my friends

3. What makes you sad?
A- Getting yelled at


4. What makes you laugh?
A- When someone tells a funny joke.

5. What is your favorite color?
A- Blue & purple

6. What is your favorite toy?
A- LEGO's

7. How tall are you?
A- 65 feets

8. How much do you weigh?
A- 44.5 pounds (ha! Doesn't get much more exact than that)

9. What’s your favorite thing to do?
A- Play with LEGO's

10. Where is your favorite place to go?
A- McDonald's

11. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
A- Arizona

12. What are you really good at?
A- Writing

13. What are you not so good at?
A- Drawing carefully (he had a REALLY hard time thinking of something for this one. Love his confidence!)

14. What is your favorite thing about school?
A- Recess

15. What is your favorite food?
A- Fries

16. What food don't you like?
A- Cucumbers

17. Are you a morning person or a night person?
A- Morning

18. What makes you proud of yourself?
A- Making a story

19. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be?
A- Spongebob

20. What‘s your favorite TV show?
A- Larvae

21. What is your favorite movie?
A- Avengers

22. What is your favorite book?
A- You Can Be Anything

23. Who are your friends?
A- Wyatt, Lucas, & Bo

24. Who is your best friend?
A- Lucas and Wyatt

25. What do you like most about your dad?
A- That he makes dinner

26. What do you like most about your mom?
A- That she's nice to me

27. What do you like most about Holden?
A- That he plays with me

28. What do you like most about Victoria?
A- That she knows my name

28. What do you like most about yourself?
A- That I'm good at building LEGO's

Eeek He's Eight! All About Holden

I'm going to say the same thing I say every year. I can't believe my baby is eight! Where did the time go? He is such an amazing, smart, caring, inquisitive, athletic, know it all, leader. I can't imagine my life without this little jokester. He can turn any day into something positive and he knows something about everything. He is my dependable smarty pants. Happy eighth birthday Hono!!

1. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A- An NFL Superstar!

2. What makes you happy?
A- Broncos winning

3. What makes you sad?
A- Scary shows (you know, like evil gnome shows. ha!)

4. What makes you laugh?
A- Dad with the helium thing (he then did an impression. Priceless.)

5. What is your favorite color?
A- Orange

6. What is your favorite toy?
A- My Broncos football helmet

7. How tall are you?
A- 4 feet 5 inches

8. How much do you weigh?
A- 54 pounds

9. What’s your favorite thing to do?
A- Play football

10. Where is your favorite place to go?
A- Lagoon

11. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
A- To where the Superbowl is going to be

12. What are you really good at?
A- Football (Again)

13. What are you not so good at?
A- Basketball

14. What is your favorite thing about school?
A- Mathematics

15. What is your favorite food?
A- Elk steak (this is what he chose for his birthday dinner)

16. What food don't you like?
A- Every veggie

17. Are you a morning person or a night person?
A- Morning

18. What makes you proud of yourself?
A- Having a good score on my report card

19. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be?
A- Bugs Bunny because he's funny

20. What‘s your favorite TV show?
A- Football

21. What is your favorite movie?
A- Avengers

22. What is your favorite book?
A- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

23. Who are your friends?
A- Max, Isaac W, Adam, Cameron, the good Brody (because there is a bad Brody), Hyrum, Josyah, & Wyatt

24. Who is your best friend?
A- Max and Hyrum

25. What do you like most about your dad?
A- That he brings me hunting

26. What do you like most about your mom?
A- That she let me keep a BB gun

27. What do you like most about Beckett?
A- That he plays with me when Hyrum, Josyah, and Wyatt can't play

28. What do you like most about Victoria?
A- That she laughs at all my jokes

28. What do you like most about yourself?
A- That I'm good at football. (Exact same answer as last year.)

Quentin James Brunson

I love this time of year. It's filled with fireworks and family and lots of fun. But it's also a time of year that is filled with sadness for me. Because 9 years ago was one of the worst days of my life. And this year was especially hard for me. Why was it so hard? Because I completely forgot about it. I forgot to remember that day and to remember my son. As I was lying in bed last night it hit me. I hadn't spent a moment thinking about my Quentin. What does that say about me as a mother?

I hope and pray that Quentin is in heaven looking down and feeling happy. That he can feel the love I have for him and for his three amazing siblings. And that he knows that I could never ever forget him. I can't believe he would be 8, turning 9 this year. I can't believe how convinced I was that I was never going to be a mom and how blessed I am to have the children I do now. The feelings are a bit at odds with each other. And I sometimes have a hard time reconciling them.

Nine years ago:

After struggling for years to have a baby Tim and I were finally pregnant. I remember being so excited to watch the fireworks with my family with my cute baby belly. I was excited to show it off and to make these new memories; to attend one last fourth of July festivities before becoming a Mom.

For some reason my cute nephew, Colton wanted to lay with me during the fireworks and I remember thinking that next year at the same time I would have my own child to take that place. It was a little slice of Heaven.

My baby was due November 23rd and I was 4 1/2 months along. It was a happy day. The next day was not so happy. (If you don't already know what happened you can check out my previous post.)

All About Beckett Age 5!!

I can't believe my baby is five today! I know, I know, I say this every year. But it's true every year. It seems like only yesterday that this little man came home with me. He has forever changed our lives. He is my hellion, get into trouble, stubborn, won't follow directions unless it's his idea, snuggley little boy and I love him to pieces. Happy Birthday Beckett!

1. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A- A Bees player

2. What makes you happy?
A- That I play with my friends at school

3. What makes you sad?
A-When you send me to a time out.

Okay, this isn't a time out pic. But it makes me smile every time I see it. What can I say? I'm a mean mom.

4. What makes you laugh?
A-Holden being funny.

5. What is your favorite color?
A-Orange and yellow

6. What is your favorite toy?
A- My Hot Wheels (same answer as last year.)

7. How tall are you?
A- 25 inches

8. How much do you weigh?
A- 42.5 pounds (pretty dang close)

9. What’s your favorite thing to do?
A- Play board games

10. Where is your favorite place to go?
A- Iggy's (yay for not being McDonald's this year! Although both are places to eat out. :/ )

11. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
A- Colorado to see a Denver Broncos game!

12. What are you really good at?
A- Helping Victoria

13. What are you not so good at?
A- Winning checkers

14. What is your favorite thing about school?
A- Learning how to count in Spanish (Woo hoo for Ms. Lesly!)

15. What is your favorite food?
A-Inside out chicken pot pie

16. What food don't you like?
A- Soup

17. Are you a morning person or a night person?
A- Morning (like, it's 6:00, can I get up yet? kind of morning person)

18. What makes you proud of yourself?
A- Making you happy (melt my heart)

19. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be?
A- Captain Rex (from Star Wars)

20. What‘s your favorite TV show?
A- Spongebob

21. What is your favorite movie?
A- Lego Movie

22. What is your favorite book?
A- Cat in the Hat

23. Who are your friends?
A- Jack, Ben, Avery, and Brielle

24. Who is your best friend?
A- Ben

25. What do you like most about your dad?
A- That he makes good dinners.

26. What do you like most about your mom?
A- That you let me have candy.

27. What do you like most about Holden?
A- His games are cool.

28. What do you like most about Tori?
A-  I love her being happy.

29. What do you like most about yourself?
A- That I'm good at soccer.

5 Months

My beautiful Victoria is 5 months old. I can't believe how fast the time has gone by. She is definitely developing her own little spitfire personality. She is also our most high maintenance baby by far. She wants it her way and will let you know just what that way is.

She rolled from her belly to her back a few months ago, but she has yet to roll the other way. She is starting to reach for things and is very smiley.

She is also very fussy. She doesn't like to be put down for long and has no problem letting you know it. Holden and Beckett adore her and are always trying to make her smile and laugh. I'm thankful every day that she joined our family. Love our little Tori Bug.

I Met Him!

For years (almost 17) I have been hoping and praying for the day that Timothy would decide he was ready to see me in person. I had decided that it probably wasn't going to happen until he was older; maybe not until after his mission.

So on Saturday, March 15, I was very surprised to get an email and a text from Lena (Timothy's mom) letting me know that he was singing at Temple Square that night and specifically asked her to invite me. How could I possibly say no? So I jumped in the shower, agonized over what to wear and finally headed to Temple Square.

Almost as soon as I got there I saw Lena. We hugged and almost cried (yay me!) and talked for a moment. Then we headed in to the Assembly Hall where Timothy was practicing with his choir. He texted her right away letting her know he saw her. Or us. Which in and of itself was huge. He saw me!!

His practice ran long so his mom and I just sat and watched and talked. I saw Timothy look at me a few times and see that I was looking at him. I could see Jon in his movements. And honestly I was really surprised that that was something I would notice. He sent Lena a text and told her he was nervous, that he didn't know what to say. So I told her I felt the same. What do you say to the almost 17 year old boy young man that has been a huge part of your life, has shaped you into the person you are, and who your heart ached for? How do I say I love you; You are amazing; I'm so proud of who you have become; Of who you are still becoming? How can I express these feelings and more to someone who doesn't know me? It's an odd feeling to have. How can I love someone so much that I haven't seen for so long?

After sitting with Lena for just under two hours rehearsal was over. And this is when my nerves kicked in to high gear. Would Timothy change his mind? Would he decide he didn't want to meet me after all? As my stomach did flip flops he walked down the stairs. As he got closer I noticed his height. Everyone always comments on how tall he is when they see his pictures. I notice it as well. But it didn't hit me just HOW tall he was until he was standing next to me. (For the record, he is 6'5". A full 10 inches taller than me.) I could tell he was nervous also. He smiled and shook my hand. Mine was shaking and I hope he didn't notice.

His amazing mom, Lena, asked Timothy's friend to take a picture of all three of us together. After that Lena took a pic of just me and Timothy. I can still feel where his hand rested on my back (which sound stalkerish, but really isn't.) And that was it. He then went to eat dinner before his performance. It was very fast and filled with a ton of emotion. I loved it all. Every single second. I really hope it will happen again soon. I would absolutely love to be more involved in his life. And for my kids to meet him. Holden is especially interested. Because they have grown up knowing who he is.

I can't even begin to describe how full my heart was during this short meeting. And still is now. Lena said it beautifully "So thrilled that we were both able to hold him together for the first time! Our hearts were on both sides of his heart-symbolic of the deep bond we both share with an amazing son! So thrilled that Tim gave us this miracle today!"

I'm so thankful that Lena is his mom. Not only for him, but for me. She helped to calm my nerves. And to remind me of the strong bond we have with each other. I love her so much. I could not have picked a better mother for my baby. She is everything I wanted for him. Everything I feared I couldn't be at 17.

I have said it before, but it bears repeating. I have no doubts that Lena and I knew each other before this life. That we talked with each other in the pre-existence about the different challenges we would go through on this Earth and how we would find each other again. I also know without a doubt that she and Robert were destined to be Timothy's parents. I was just the vessel to bring him into the world.

You can read a bit more about me giving Timothy up HERE.

Tori Bug: Zero to Three Months!

Oh how time flies! I can't believe this little beauty has been in our family for 3 months already! She has made our family complete. And while she takes a lot of time and energy I can't imagine changing her. Her little personality is already starting to show. So thankful my little Tori Bug is part of the Brunson family!

The photo above is at 10 days. So tiny!

1 month. Still pretty tiny.

Two months. She is getting bigger. Starting to get some chub on those cheeks. This is the exact same onesie she was wearing in her one month pic.

And three months. She is turning into our chunk chunk. I freaking love it!

She still likes to be held. A lot. But it's improving. We can often put her down to play or swing in her baby swing for 15-20 minutes at a time now. And she is not crying when Daddy holds her all the time anymore. Which means everyone is happier.

New Year Questions 2014

I decided to start asking my kids some questions every year. I think it will be fun to see how their answers to change from year to year. So here are the answers for 2014.

Beckett:
Favorites:

• cereal- Mini Wheats
• vegetable- carrots and celery
• drink- Sprite
• toy- My pistol I got for Christmas from Holden
• TV Show- Phineas and Ferb
• game- Skylander's Swap Force
• book- Fly Guy
• restaurant- Famous Dave's
• holiday- Christmas
• animal- Tiger

If you could change your name, what would you choose? Manning (big surprise)
What do you love about each person in our family? Mom- You getting me cereal. Dad- Making lunch. Holden- That he plays with me. Tori- That she doesn't cry.
Where would you like to go on vacation this year? California
What are some of your wishes for this year? Peyton Manning come to our house.

Holden:

Favorites:

• cereal- Frosted Flakes
• vegetable- I don't like any
• drink- Sprite
• toy- iPad
• TV Show- Power Rangers Jungle Fury (sigh. I HATE this show)
• game- Life
• book- A to Z mysteries
• restaurant- Rodizio
• holiday- Christmas
• animal- Bronco

If you could change your name, what would you choose? Bolden
What do you love about each person in our family? Mom- She's nicer than dad. Dad- He takes me hunting. Beckett- He plays with me. Tori- She silent most of the time.
Where would you like to go on vacation this year? Colorado (can you guess why?)
What are some of your wishes for this year? Go to a Broncos game

Victoria

Some cute pics of my beautiful daughter.

She is still very little. We don't have an official weight, but from me stepping on the scale (ugh) and then stopping on again while holding her we guess she weighs about 7 1/2 pounds. 

She is also a big pain in the butt. I love her to pieces, but she isn't happy unless she is being held. It makes it really hard to get anything done. So I hold her most of the day and Tim tries to help out at night. The boys also like to hold her, but she doesn't like that as well. And she rarely lasts more than 5 minutes in the swing or bouncer.

 Love love love these cute ones with the tutu. The pink with the teal background looks awesome!

 I am so in love with her outie belly button. It's just freaking cute!!

Ack! I can't believe my baby girl is already more than a month old. She has already changed our lives and completed our family. I can't imagine not having her.

Victoria's Birth Story

Since this was my 5th pregnancy and Beckett came really fast I was a bit worried about how quickly Victoria would make her arrival. I was terrified of delivering her in the car or at home with no help. So Tim was on standby. For multiple days. I have a few pieces of paper with the timing of my contractions written down since I was having quite a few and never knew if it was real or not. I even called my doctor one of those days and he told me to head to the hospital. I did. And Tim and I sat around being bored for a couple of hours while I didn't progress at all in an evaluation room. Oh the joys.

I was seriously tired of timing contractions. I vowed I wouldn't time them again at all. That I would just wait until they really hurt. But on October 28 that went out the window. It seemed like they were coming fairly regularly so I started timing them around 3:00. I texted Tim and let him know that I was timing. Again. But I still wasn't sure. So he didn't rush home. Around 7:00pm they seemed to be about 6-8 minutes apart. So I called Becky to come grab the boys and Tim and I headed to the hospital. We got there around 8:30pm. Tim and Becky both thought this was it, but I still wasn't sure.

When we told the nursing staff that my contractions were 6-8 minutes apart they didn't bother with an evaluation room. We headed right to labor and delivery. (I must say this freaked me out a little.) They hooked me up to the monitors, had me rate my pain (it was very low), and we waited. I decided to give natural birth a try so I was walking around and trying to get things moving. At 10:30 I was checked and I was only at a 5. This was very disheartening. I felt like I had been laboring for a very long time already. My longest labor before now was 7 hours. And Beckett was a total of 4 1/2, with less than an hour of that being at the hospital.

At about midnight the midwife came in and broke my water since I still wasn't progressing a ton. And it took about 5 minutes for me to realize there was absolutely no way I was going to be able to go natural. So I promptly requested an epidural. Yay for modern medicine! At this point things got super boring. I wasn't feeling pain and since it was the middle of the night there wasn't a whole lot on TV. You can see the pic below of how Tim spent most of this time.

And I was even able to sneak in about 45 minutes of a nap. Thank goodness for my amazing sister Becky who stayed up way too late texting me. She helped with my sanity.

I was checked again at 4:00am and I was dilated to a 7 and 90% effaced. I was less than thrilled. But at least I was making some decent progress at this point. At 5:05am I was dilated to a 9+ and almost completely effaced. And at 6:05am I started pushing. My cute little baby girl finally made her arrival at 6:23am 13 days before her due date of November 11. So in total about 16 hours. Which is more than both Holden and Beckett combined.

She had a super short and fat umbilical cord. So they weren't able to put her up on my chest at first. She could only reach my stomach since it was so short. She also didn't cry at first. They took her over to the warmer to check her out and I couldn't hear anything. I was really scared for a minute or two. But they were able to get her lungs going and assured me that she was doing great.

She weighed 6 pounds 8 ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long. She scored an 8 and then a 9 on Apgar. And she was (and still is) perfection. She totally completes our family. And we all love her to pieces.

Halloween

This for Halloween Holden decided to dress up as Indiana Jones and Beckett was Iron Man. They both looked stinkin' adorable. Tim took them out trick or treating while I stayed home with the baby. They both got way too much candy and had a ton of fun. Overall, it was a very low key holiday and I loved it.

 

We had a lot more trick or treaters this year than in years past, but still not a ton. The boys loved answering the door to hand out candy before and after they went out to get their own. And I loved not having to get up every two seconds. 

 

Since I was very pregnant during the month of October I didn't have a ton of energy. Which means I had zero desire to carve pumpkins. Thankfully we were able to talk the boys into just using Mr. Potato head type decorations. Although this was after Holden spent all of two seconds cleaning his pumpkin out. He was dead set on carving it. Until he realized how much work it would be to clean it out. He HATES getting his hands dirty, so it didn't take long for him to realize it just wasn't worth it. And I love how they turned out. Especially because it was insanely easy to do. Pretty sure this is the new norm for my family.

September Soccer

Obviously I am a big blog slacker. (Let's blame it on the pregnancy.) So I'm going to play a little catch up.

September was a fun month. The boys were finishing up soccer. And I was anxiously awaiting the end of it. Holden had practice on Mondays and Wednesdays. Beckett had practice on Thursdays. And both of them had a game on Saturday morning. I was on soccer overload. But they love it. Holden is very good and really gets in there. He goes after the ball and isn't afraid to jump in front of other players to steal it. I have loved seeing him progress and get better and better. He is a very athletic kid.

Beckett, on the other hand isn't sure. Tim and I were sure he would start soccer this year and be a star player. He's been watching Holden play for a couple of years and practicing with him in the back yard. But that was definitely not the case. He wouldn't even play the first half of his first game. He just sat on my lap and hid his head in my shoulder. Thankfully, he got over that. But he still doesn't usually know where the ball is. He just kind of runs around with his other team mates and swings his arms around. Although he does enjoy it. And that's really all that matters.